Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day - From a Single Mama

Five years ago I was ‘celebrating’ my first Mother’s Day as a single parent. While I’m sure I did something special with my mom and maybe decided to skip cleaning the house that day, the reality is, that when parenting a 2 and 5 yr. old alone – Mother’s Day is pretty much like any other day. People would ask me then ‘How do you do it?’ and I would smile with grace and say, ‘It’s not so bad’, ‘I’m used to it’ or ‘that’s just life. No big deal. I love my kids.’  All of that was true, but at the same time, the REALITY was this: parenting a 2 and 5 yr. old alone is HARD. Their dad saw them about 41 days – that ENTIRE year. Getting divorced meant I couldn’t stay home with my babies & I had to get a job. My day-to-day went something like this: wake up to a busy, and often grumpy, 2 yr. old who didn’t want to go to daycare, so cried and sometimes threw a tantrum until I dropped him off {crying} and got ready to take my Kindergartener to school. I’d walk him to line {if we weren’t running late after all that} and then I’d drive to school. The whole drop off & drive took about 45 minutes – & then I started my day job. I’d teach young minds the value of English and History and answer the same questions 5 times a day and love it. Then I’d do the reverse of my morning routine – pick up 5 yr. old, pick up 2 yr. old and head home to make dinner. We got our nighttime routine down pretty fast – eat dinner, take a bath, read books, go to bed. Most times it went smoothly, sometimes we forgot homework, threw up dinner, had an accident, cried for attention, dealt with daddy issues, or just plain couldn’t sleep. Those hard nights I asked myself ‘How can I do this one more day? I barely made it through THIS day?’ The reality was, I couldn’t. The reality was, for every day I was swarmed with hugs and kisses, there was a day I was overwhelmed. I’d crumple and cry, NOT knowing how I was going to get from one day to the next. The reality was, it was only by God’s grace that I managed to get to the next day. If it wasn’t for 1. My own amazing mother who was a living example of the mom I wanted to be and 2. God’s amazing love for me, I wouldn’t have known how to love my children through this tough time. I would have given up. But I’m so glad I didn’t! Because this has been the best 5 years of my life!!
Because many mornings I woke up with a 2 yr. old cuddled next to me and a 5 yr. old tapping my nose. {Those were the best mornings!}  Because each day became a time of bonding for our little trio. Because each day it got easier and making it through that first year, made me feel like I could get through ANYTHING! Because they make me LAUGH every day. Because their dad now sees them almost twice as much as that first year. Because they became potty trained {yay!}, self sufficient {yay for dressing yourself and making your own breakfast!} and OH SO loving!! Now, at ages 7 and 10 they draw me pictures, are full of endless hugs, kisses and daily acts of love and appreciation. My boys have been known to say things to me such as ‘Let’s let the hardest working person in the house pick the movie tonight. Mom – what do you want to watch?’ and ‘Not all mom’s come to every practice and game. I’m lucky.’  ‘Thanks mom!’ and ‘You make my heart happy’ <3 And the most recent: ‘Mom, if you hear the toaster oven beep in the morning – just ignore it. I’m making you breakfast in bed.’ These boys make EVERY day feel like it’s Mother’s Day! 

This morning I woke up to toast, Raspberry Danish, and Sunny Delight Orange Juice {in a plastic Veggie Tales cup.}  {Love those boys!} <3

 So today, when people ask me ‘How do I do it’ I can answer with grace and a smile: ‘It’s through the grace of God.’ and ‘It’s hard sometimes, but I’m lucky – I have GREAT kids and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.’ They are worth every minute of sacrifice and every ounce of my love. I try hard to be that woman in Proverbs 31, and a lot of times I fail, but I never, EVER give up. So, 3 cheers to every mother out there that practices the labor of love & sacrifices her heart and time for the love of her children. God Bless You and Happy Mother’s Day! xo

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ~Prov. 31

Shared with the lovely readers at Tidy Mom and Tatertots and Jello


Carrieg said...

I love this blog entry, Reannah! It's my first Mom's Day as a single mom, and though a year ago, I would have done anything NOT to be single, I'm realizing how much better off Wy and I are in our new situation. His dad is still involved, but I'm starting to see the progression of him cutting a day here, being late on a day there (on a weekly basis). I'm already seeing our 60/40% turn into a 75/25% in under a year. I'm really sad for Wy, but I know that I'm a great mom and can give him all of me. Happy Mother's DAY and everyDAY!

{Shaped by Grace} said...

Thank you Carrie! I know how you feel. Trust me - it gets better {not always with the ex} but with life. You are doing such a GREAT job with your little man! I am SURE he knows how much you sacrifice for him and love him! Wy is so lucky to have you!!! :o) Happy Mother's Day {and every day!} to you too!!!! :o)

Naiman Family said...

Beautifully written, Reannah. You are a strong and wonderful mother and person. Your posts motivate others, including me, and I appreciate you! Happy Mother's Day!

{Shaped by Grace} said...

Thank you so much Kim! xo I know your boys must appreciate the time you take to make all their celebrations so special! :o) I hope you enjoyed your Mother's Day with your little men too!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Reannah! You truly inspire! Why some fathers (not all, but quite a few) begin to back away from their children after the divorce - when the children need them most! - is a mystery to me.

Please know that you are helping others; even if it's just knowing we are not alone and we, with the grace of God, will be fine.

My four children grew to be fine adults and the Lord has already blessed me with grandchildren! Mine rarely see their father - they know they were conceived in love, were wanted and were raised at least a small time, for the 'little ones' in a loving, God-filled home.

Please keep your ideas and your wonderful crafts coming. You are a delight in the Lord!

{Shaped by Grace} said...

Thank you for your sweet words Kate. :) Seeing mom's like you makes me realize I can get through these tough times and reminds me that God is on my side. The only perfect love is God's love. I needed to remind myself of that today. Thanks.

Carey said...

wow. that's all I can say.

Megs said...

Oh I seriously LOVE this post!! I found it from the link you left on Little Miss Momma's facebook. I seriously and truly look up to single mothers. You are amazing and so so strong!! I hope that I can be half of the mother that you are to your boys. You are truly inspirational!

KCoake said...

Wow! Thank you for sharing this.

Gallamore West said...

Wonderful post, Reannah! You are an AMAZING mama and your boys are blessed to have you as such a strong, loving example of a parent :) Happy Mother's Day to you!!
Laurie :)

Heidi said...


THANK YOU for writing this post. I feel like you were writing about my life! I have two little ones, a 9 year old daughter and a 6 year old son...we are also now a TIGHT family of 3. I have Christian friends who ask in amazement how I are SO is TRULY by the Grace of God! It is not the life I would have chosen for us, but it is the one God knew I would have all along. I can also agree, that we are now better on our own. We are truly blessed. Happy Mother's Day!


Six Sisters said...

What a great post! We would love for you to come share it at our weekly link party and enter to win a $50 gift card to Mikarose Clothing!

The Sisters

Holly Lefevre (504 Main) said...

I am so glad you posted this on Facebook. One I get to learn a little more about you and after meeting you twice I could already tell you had an amazing giving soul, but reading your story and how much you love these hearts melt and I want to move next door to you! Your boys are SO LUCKY TO HAVE A MAMA LIKE YOU!

Post a Comment

I love reading your comments! Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a message!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...